After the Storm

After the storm at Kilcoole beach. Wind. Pale winter sun. Sea. Waves ruffling in and out. Railway bridge with rusting girders. Half rotten timber posts. 

Low sun reflected in the water. White swans. Birds wheeling low over the water. I reach the spot where the river meets the sea. Small river, big sea. All that immensity.

Where the little river meets the big ocean

And here's me walking along, wondering what its all about. Feeling seventeen. As if I'm just pretending to be grown up and know what I'm doing. Wondering where my life will take me, and how on earth I can overcome the problems of now. I nearly wrote "challenges of now" wanting to be politically correct with myself.

What happens if I change the paradigm.
What happens if instead of trying to overcome the problems of now, I decide I WON'T "overcome" the problems of now. I CAN'T overcome them. 


Now is now: and all my striving won't stretch reality and make it what it's not. I know  I've spent a lifetime,  STRETCHING reality to make it fit my expectations and desires. Stretching and bending it, then working like a Trojan to keep my illusions in place. To stop my carefully spun version of reality from coming asunder.

Today, I challenge myself to stop trying to overcome "now" and stop trying to make it a different place.

I challenge myself to surrender to "now" exactly as it is. 

To yield.

To allow.

To let "now" be.

I am a little river, that has been trying to control it's course. 


I surrender myself to the great ocean. Take me.

Surrender